growing pains

When I was a little girl I remember I used to lay in bed at night and started to feel these pains in my legs. They would come in slowly, and yet once they came they just got worse. I remember when they would start I would be "ok" and try to tough it out. I would even tell myself "you are not going to cry about them this time, they are not so bad... you can tough it out." And yet, the tears would come. Not just tears either, out loud cries would come too. I would do all I could to try and make them go away. I would rub my legs, I would rock back and forth, and I would even try to hit my legs thinking that adding more pain would take my mind off of them. WOW, what crazy things we think of while in pain. The fact of the matter is that nothing I did was going to stop them or even make them hurt less; I just had to let them take their course. Once they were over, I could go to sleep, and not really think about them in the morning when I woke up. Another fact is that, although I am in no way a tall person, they had to happen so that I might be taller and grow physically as in age and mentally. I am now thankful for those growing pains because they were a sign that I was growing, and that I was not destined to be shorter than I already am.

But all of that to say, in my life growing brings pains with it, and nothing I can do will change that. BUT, the difference between those growing pains as a child, and the ones I have experienced in my life is that I serve a God who is working in such a way that I may grow more like His son, Jesus Christ. He is a God who provides comfort, and joy, and strength, and contentment within the pains, and helps us to be thankful for them. To see the growth that comes from those growing pains is a blessing and truly a testimony to God's grace. Thank you Lord, that they are not just pains in vain, but "growing pains."

Good times...

It was a good week and weekend. There were some challenges along the way, but nothing that God could not handle... and not one thing which He left alone without revealing my heart to me in the challenge. SUCH A BLESSING!

The weekend started with a dinner date with Jenny and NIcole. It was such an encouraging time to laugh, relax, eat, and refelct upon the character of God. We got sucked into girl talk until pretty late. I ended up sleeping at the school in Nicole's room. HAHA, i love my NIcole.

Saturday, Marla and I had a girls morning. We went to Panera (which we both decided their bagels are way better than DND'd and the hazel nit cream cheese is the best!) and then we went to several different stores. We both ended up getting some fun purchases.

We came back and watched a movie. Jennt and I went to visit NIcole at Startbucks... Mmmm Carmel Appel Cider. YAY. After that i read and slept a little, and then we started the movie over and watched it with Nicole when she got off of work. I love the times i can spend with the girls God has placed in my life. Not only are they encouraging times in Him, but times of laughter, silence, and random events. I appreciate that He has allowed me to be here for that fellowship this year (even after I have graduated).

This morning church was good. Sunday school really challenged me to look back and truly see God's finger prints all over my life and things which have happened. What a reminder?! Church was about the different feasts and what they were for. Thankfulness in remembering, and thankfulness in trusting God for the future. I am remembering that as I venture out to my good friend Lauren's house for the holiday. Not only is it a time to eat and be thankful in that day... but a time to truly take time and remember God's faithfulness in my past, seek to see it in my present, and trust in it for my future.

Praise God for His faithfulness, because where would I be without His love?

Looking forward and presently living

I have come to this point in my life where I am looking forward, with hope. But I am presently living in joy for the daily opportunities God provides. This is a wonderful place to be because my circumstances donot define the joy that I can have in the day that Lord has made (each day that it happens). I donot know what the Lord has for me as I look forward, but what I do know is that those who seek the Lord will find exactly what they are looking for; HIM! I have been blessed to see the Character of my God in ways that i never would have chosen, but realized I needed and will continue to need as that future become the present with each passing day. The joy to look forward; even in times of "uncertainty" and "sorrow", look forward to the hope we have in a God who delights in making us more like His son because of the glory it brings to Him.

This process of rejoicing is a long time process, and I have just scratched the surface of what God wants to teach me about this discipline of hope, joy, love, and trust. Thank you Lord for your blessings of suffering, when I donot believe they are blessed times, please help my unbelief. Amen.

Things change so quickly

So it has been quite the eventful couple of weeks. It is so crazy to think how quick things can change in just one moment. Even more, to actually see and experience that thought. One day, we could be growing in the Lord, pressing on and well established in our knowledge of Him, and the next in a moments tempation (and the choice to act on our desires), we have fallen and are in need of repentance and renewal. This ia a wonderful process in the long run, because we see our hearts, we see who God is, and we are more like Christ as the result of repentance and moving forward.

A lot of things have changed in my life recently, and they continue to change. When things change; whether it is my making a choice (good or bad) or someone else making a choice which effects me (good or bad), all we can do is trust in the Lord, and dwell on what we know to be true. He has not changed, and He is not going to lead you down a road of uncertainty. If it seems uncertain or contradictory... well according to Thomas Aquinas (as quoted in C.S Lewis' book "The Problem of Pain") "Nothing which implies contradiction falls under the omnipotence of God." Thus, I am looking at it from my own understanding, or others have presented it wrongly. God does not contradict himself, nor is He the arthur of confussion.

I am so thankful for the fact that things can change so quickly, but i also am thnakful for the process by which things that change for the good actually stay that way. The sanctification process is hard, but well worth the result of that change.


"We are, not metaphorically but in very truth, a Divine work of art, something that God is making, and therefore something with which He will not be satisfied until it has a certain character." C.S Lewis "The Problem of Pain."

Bring on the changes so that I might be closer to that character which You desire for me Lord. Amen.

First post...

So I am new to this blog thing. i used to have an online journal... but that was a while ago.
Recently God has rocked my world, and I must say that I have grown to love every aspect of how He chooses to work.

I have the most wonderful people in my life whom I would call "Friends," and def in the Biblical aspect of the term.

God is good, and that is all for now.